oh me, oh my.

Eyebrows on point.

Eyebrows on point.

Sweeeeeet.

Sweeeeeet.

This makes it official, right?

This makes it official, right?

I found myself thinking, Yep, I’ve got everything that I need. And then aloud, I had said, ‘Except The Metalhead..’

I was taken aback! Haha. I don’t know if I believed myself when I said it. I suppose I wouldn’t mind his company.

The Metalhead stopped by this morning to drop off a crockypot and then I made him two eggs, sunny-side up.

Early visits are so sweet.

I feel like I’m always fluffing egos.

Today is my one year at this high-profile restaurant.

Tomorrow I will be turning in my two weeks’ notice.

I’ve been training at another restaurant (yet to be named). Higher profile. Higher standards. More freedom.

I’m so busy.

There’s a dude, but I can’t decide if I’m ready for serious orrr… play?

My life is bursting at the seams. In a good way.

I’m alive, I’m healthy and very, very happy.

Annnnnnnnnd The Scotsman, seriously, JUST emailed me. Fuuuuuuuck.

  • Random: Your eyes say 'hello' every time you blink.
  • Me: That must be annoying.
  • Random: It's actually the prettiest thing I've ever seen.

Got my armpit tattooed today.

The most comfortable position is to have my hand my hip.

I look like such a cunt.

I went to Black Hawk with friends over the weekend. Some time between me leaving my apartment on Sunday and leaving the casinos on Tuesday, I lost my house keys.

I realized that on the way down the mountain and then frantically searched my bags. Nada. Goddamnit.

Called my super; thank god he was home! He waited at the sausage factory behind my house. I couldn’t wait for him to try all the keys to my lock, so I asked to use the bathroom in the sausage factory. Dudes everywhere (although a very clean restroom). It’s literal and figurative. The Sausage Factory.

Approach my back door ready to try some mothafuckin’ keys… and the knob turns. Agh, I have been forgetting to lock that recently.

Yay. I’m in.

My super knocks on my door later to inform me that the locksmith will be by the next day at 6pm and that the key replacement fee is $25. Instead, he would like me to pay him in pot. Works for me.

When I first moved into this apartment, the locksmith had come by to change my locks and keys.. old, maybe a little creepy, but really nice.

He gave me a skeleton key for my old closet locks. Then gifted me a baggy of weed as a ‘Welcome to Denver!’ thing, or something. And then! He returns a’knockin’ on my back door to give me packages of sausage, saying that I have to try them since I haven’t before.

I had sausage delivered to my back door.

When my super gave me the information, he had also mentioned that it was going to be the same locksmith. Well, I wasn’t going to be home then. I decided to leave a request to have one key for two locks and that the keys be left in my mailbox. With that written request taped to the inside of my door, also attached was a joint.

I figured I’d return the favor.

Then he returned the favor! My locksmith moonlights/daylights as a window washer.

He fucking cleaned my dirty ass kitchen window. Someone had drawn a huge ugly face into the grime, and at some point, I stuck my mouth to the glass and puffed out my cheeks. It never bothered me enough to wipe that shit off.

It was a very strange thing to notice when I came home.

He also fudged and reversed my lock knobs. My locked doors look unlocked. Vice versa.